‘Twas the night before hunting and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (the mice were too scared with all the guns and ammunition lying around).
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care (along with all the other camo that was drying since they had been sprayed with Doe scent).
In hopes that a 12-point soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of giant bucks danced in their heads.
While mama in her oversized Dr Pepper T-shirt and I in my new camo long-johns,
Had just settled down for a short 2-hour nap (until I had to get up to be ready for dawn’s first light).
When out on the farm there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. (I didn’t really spring since I hurt my knee).
Away to the window I wobbled so fast
Threw opened the mini blinds, that cost lots of cash. (Designer blinds. The wife said the regular ones wouldn’t work so we paid a fortune for them!)
The moon on the breast of the new –fallen snow, gave the luster of mid-day to objects below. (Great! All I need is for the deer to see me before I see them)
When what to my wandering eyes should appear. A 30-point buck! (my eyes aren’t like they used to be so maybe not 30 but there were a lot) So I grabbed all my gear.
It’s the end of my story, It’s sad but it’s true.
But I tripped on my gear, Broke my gun (it was new).
As I cursed out my gun, I then flew cross the floor
Rolled over my boots, hit my head on the door.
As I fell back in pain, I sure got a surprise
‘Cause the bottle of Doe scent just sprayed in my eyes.
Now every deer season I think back on this
And run to the grocer with my dinner list.